Autobiographical Nonsense: Things I've Learned Get You Prayed For

Lots of Christians disagree with me or find my more culturally liberal views (I said culturally, not politically) repulsive. Thus they always feel it's important to tell me that they are praying for me. Here's a list of things that--while I find rather normal--are apparently dire enough to prompt intense intercession for your wayward soul.

Listening to Marilyn Manson gets you prayed for.
Wearing jeans gets you prayed for.
Disagreeing with Josh Harris gets you prayed for.
Being sarcastic gets you prayed for.
Advocating social justice gets you rpayed for.
Having dreds gets you prayed for.
Having a tat or multiple piercings gets you prayed for.
Refusing to homeschool gets you prayed for.
Using birth control gets you prayed for.
Believeing that we need missionaries in the US gets you prayed for.
Skipping church some days gets you prayed for.
Playing drums gets you prayed for.
Not hating homosexuals gets you prayed for.
Watching Tila Tequila gets you prayed for.
Wearing red lipstick gets you prayed for.
Wearing "hooker heels" (aka stilettos or spiked heels) gets you prayed for.
Baring cleavage gets you prayed for.
Having a significant other gets you prayed for.
Going to a good college instead of a small Christian one gets you prayed for.
Owning a nude scuplture gets you prayed for.
Wearing lots of black gets you prayed for.
Having cable gets you prayed for.
Going to public school gets you prayed for.
Believeing men and women are equal gets you prayed for.
Speaking in tongues gets you prayed for.
Reading the Apocrypha gets you prayed for.
Reading The DaVinci Code (and enjoying it) gets you prayed for.
Watching The Ring gets you prayed for.
Listening to NPR gets you prayed for.
Being a Yankees fan gets you prayed for.
Being a celebrity gets you prayed for.
Headbanging gets you prayed for.
dancing gets you prayed for.
Screaming gets you prayed for.
Voting for a Democrat gets you prayed for.
Being a Democrat? Oh, that gets you kicked out.