Autobiographical Nonsense: Things I Do to Waste Time

I talk to people.

I Wiki random things.

I mess around with makeup.

I dye my hair a random color.

I blog.

I read magazines.

I hunt for pervy flair.

I fill out MySpace bulletins.

I go on Myspace in general.

I change my FaceBook status.

I call Jessica New.

I give myself Sharpie tattoos.

I listen to music.

I make wacky plans about my future.

I read Cyd's Xanga.

I stalk people I used to know online.

I make up wicked perverted jokes with Kevin.

I go to Rite Aid and smell all the perfumes and colognes.

I swim needless laps.

I go running.

I find random blogs to comment on.

I post on message boards.

I hit up perezhilton.com.

I text Dean.

I go to the paint store, take lots of chips, and try to decide what color to paint every room in my house.

I mural.

I cook interesting dishes.

I reorganize my drawers.

I use the DDS to organize all my family's bookshelves. I do.

I read BookPages.

I go to the library and hang out at Reference, where I used to work.

I walk to Wawa.

I go on the swings in the park.

I jump rope.

I attempt to Double Dutch.

I write Op/Eds.

I watch Monty Python.

I listen to Brian Regan.

I do the sun stare.

I mess around in GarageBand.

I rehearse possible Oscar/Grammy/Tony acceptance speeches.

I read The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy.

I try to get a life. Alas, Walmart doesn't carry them.