Autobiographical Nonsense: Skills I Should Master

I should learn to shut up.

I should learn to tell my right from my left.

I should learn to be more patient.

I should learn to play bass.

I should learn to tap my foot while playing.

I should learn to control my temper.

I should learn to write better papers.

I should learn to give a stunning argument.

I should learn to be more independent.

I should learn to do my work on time and not at the last minute.

I should learn not to be jealous.

I should learn what dispensationalism is.

I should learn to salsa dance better.

I should learn to do a decent flip turn.

I should learn to use a serger.

I should learn to fix a carburetor.

I should learn to do a cartwheel.

I should learn to French kiss.

I should learn to drive without killing anyone.

I should learn to do a triple toe loop.

I should learn to write.

I should learn how to conquer the world.

I should learn to use Logic Pro.

I should  learn to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

I should learn how to apply eyeshadow in the crease.

I should learn how credit cards work.

I should learn to answer my mom kindly.

I should learn to comfort people.

I should learn to give better advice.

I should learn to eat a whole jalepeno without batting an eyelash. Almost there.

I should learn to use a tandoor oven.

I should learn to fly.

I should learn to be the change.

I should learn to do a whole bunch of things before I go off to college.

Before I die.

The one thing I do not need to learn is to love, because someone I never expected to be my best friend is teaching me how.